Great Stories of the Bible 3

It’s time for another inspiring episode of Great Stories of the Bible, and this one is a totally epic double header! You will be so fucking religious by the time you finish reading this that you just might want to cut off your own dick. Unless you’re a woman. If you’re a woman, you might feel so religious that you want to grow a dick. Because, as you will see throughout the bible (and as you saw in Great Stories of the Bible 1 and Great Stories of the Bible 2 in particular) God loves nicely cut dicks and sort of hates women.

Most of you have already heard of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. It’s a touching and rousing story of two of the most pious men ever to walk the earth: Abraham and his nephew, Lot. I invite you to read this story and try to walk in the mighty shoes of these noble men that God finds so righteous.

You might notice that one of the scenes here is a lot like the story in Great Stories of the Bible 1. That might seem a little crazy since the scene seems wildly fucking unlikely to repeat itself. Yeah. God plagiarizes his own shit a lot. But he can do that. He’s God.

Anyways, here is the brand stinking new Great Stories of the Bible Double Feature. Enjoy or whatever.

Yo, that had to be safe for work, right? I mean, it’s straight from the fucking bible.

Okay, so that’s all I have to say about the bible right now. Go make God a sandwich.

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